One answer might be that it’s no longer acceptable to make something from a box. There were also times where I wasn’t so adamant about a balanced and complete meal either. That makes a big difference. When we get home from work, there’s no time to waste. We need to know what we’re having when we walk in the door, or else we don’t eat until 7 or 8 in the evening. It really drives home the point of how handy it would be to have pre-made, seasonal meal plans. To flip open a little binder and choose a week of meals that looks appealing. A quick hop to the grocery store to pick up the items from our pre-planned shopping list would net me hours over the course of a week. Hours.

What would I do with those hours? I’d make more menus, and learn more about food. I’ve been having the most interesting conversations about food lately and I’ve got books lined up to read. But I haven’t the time. I’m a problem-solver though, so now that I’ve identified the problem I can implement a plan.

Ah, the plan. What a learning curve. There’s so much planning that goes into making a plan. And when we need to incorporate other people into the plan, and their dietary needs and wants – it becomes a huge daunting task.

I’m learning about my sense of loss in trying to make healthier food choices, and how to approach convincing someone else to make these choices with me. I’m learning about reading labels and caring about what I’m reading. I’m learning that the best way for me to understand what interests me about food, is to talk about it with lots of different people. I’m learning how to cope with limited kitchen tools, and space, and storage and even about the effects of a small space on ones psyche.

I know that I haven’t been getting here very often, but a plan is underway.

Other things we consider during this planning stage of the next three meals are:

Our eating habits. We’re not big on sandwiches, we require a lot of variety (unless it’s leftovers!), if we purchase whole fruit like apples or pears, we never seem to finish them, but if we buy a couple types of melon/fruit and cut it up in a bowl in the fridge – we eat it all;

What we require from each meal. What do we know will make enough for 2 supper portions and 2 lunch portions, and what’s the backup plan? How ‘heavy’ is our day and how long will this need to last us. We also try to have a good balance of what will hold us until the next snack or meal, but not sit heavy in our stomachs and make us tired and sluggish in the afternoon;

Then we look at how much time is required and how long we really have. Sometimes we know our days are going to be a little more hectic than others. On these days we want healthy, quick, and fantastic flavours, and whether we need to get some prep work done either the evening before or the morning of. If I know (should all go well on that particular day!) that I’ll be home earlier than normal, then that’s when I like to plan a meal that we really enjoy but takes a little more time.

For breakfast, we’re breakfast shake people. Mike chooses a whey protein shake, and I love love love my Isagenix Isalean shake. For my menu business, I like to include breakfast smoothie recipes. Shakes and smoothies are just perfect for people heading out to work, or people who aren’t big on breakfast. Don’t forget that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

For lunch, we like leftovers. We will tend to choose dishes that will taste delicious when heated (or not) the next day. Dishes we enjoy that don’t bode well for reheating, we save for weekend cooking. We have been known to cart either a toaster oven or microwave off to work with us! Hey, whatever it takes!

I guess the only other thing we consider when choosing our supper dishes is the season. Aside from a nice roast, we would rarely have a winter dish in the summer. But who knows, we’re in Calgary now and we’ve had snow over the last three days!

We used to have a pantry – at least we had pantry items! Lots of pantry items. We’d buy bulk to pay the lowest price, shop less and always have things on hand. Now, our very small apartment kitchen cannot hold many items. We left our chest freezer in storage and now have only an icebox in our tiny little fridge. Most of our food didn’t fit in the truck anyway, so we’ve had to start from scratch all around. Just like someone who is moving out for the first time.

We did manage to squeeze our full compliment of spices into the truck, so at least we didn’t have to replace all of those. I will add here that if we did have to replace them, we would do that at a bulk food store as opposed to a grocery store. I would anticipate a savings of at least two thirds. We started out shopping for one day at a time - two if we were lucky. We’re at the grocery store every day. We were also buying semi-prepared food like crusted fish fillets, or stuffed chicken breasts. What an expensive way to shop! On one hand these items were fresh and flavourful, but on the other hand it was blowing our food budget.

Meal planning has never been more important to us. Another change right off is how much time we have to prepare meals. I used to work from home and had many an hour to spend on prep work for timely meals. Now, the household arrives home at 5:30 and we’re hungry and tired, it’s not the time to think about what to have for dinner. I want to walk in, know what I’m having for dinner and know that it’s going to be quick, easy, and delicious. 

As we learn our new way of managing meals, I’ll share my successes here and hopefully something will filter through that can help others save money, save time, and eat well. Till then…

My question for this post is why do people have such a hard time giving up certain foods? I know it’s not just me.

I was watching tv the other day – ET Canada, and there’s Ben Mulroney saying that he wants to eat better this year. He’s got his dish of pasta alfredo there in front of him and he’s saying instead of eating this, [another dish appears] eat this wonderful healthier Mediterranean-inspired dish. He gave a few examples and when his guest turns away, he sneaks a huge bite of the alfredo. Of course it was meant to be humorous, but what kind of message does it really send? First – who is he fooling? If he’s vowing to eat better then why sneak food? Being on television appealing to others who may be making the same vow, it may have had a better impact if he’d shown that not only does the Mediterranean- inspired dish taste WAY better, it’s better for you. Don’t even bother to look back, ’cause you’re not missing anything!

Somehow eating healthfully has gotten a bad wrap. Lots of people talk about eating great food, but when the conversation turns to healthful eating, people keep making excuses to continue eating the crap we enjoy. Why? It seems like I’ll never be able to go out for lunch and order a salad instead of poutine (aka heart attack on a plate). I call it a treat. But what kind of treat is that? I’m going to treat myself to a heart attack!! Hmmmmmm.

I’ve made food a pretty big part of my life over the past while. I’ve come across many interesting and disappointing facts about food every day. Some things I learn will stop my consumption immediately. Some things, I don’t seem to have a choice about. I don’t really like the what they’ve done with some products, but I don’t have an alternative yet. Does it really just come down to will power to knock our bad food habits? I think I thought that it was more about knowledge, but if that were the case, I’d have had my last poutine years ago.

I talk about food a lot and I hear people say all the time that it costs a lot of money to eat well. I’ve even agreed with them. But I’ve changed my mind. Yes, it’s true that food that is better for you costs more than food that isn’t so good for you. My grocery store wants $7 for the tiny wee box of Kashi cereal, opposed to the $4 for a big box of Cocoa Puffs. It really ticks me off that grocery stores under price foods that are not good for us at all and that have been shipped from all over the planet. Making people believe that eating well is for the financially secure, and in order to get the most bang for our buck we need to gravitate toward these inexpensive foods.

I happen to believe that with proper planning, foresight, and knowledge anyone could eat quality foods without increasing their food budget.

Planning: It’s not that it’s hard work, but you have to work hard at it. Preparing some weekly seasonal menus with overlapping ingredients – as many as you can, and a variety of tastes and textures will serve you well.

Foresight: Buy produce when it’s in season – locally. Also, take a look at what days you will need a quick fix meal, or what days you can take a little longer with a meal.

Knowledge: Know how things are packaged in the stores (quantity-wise), or know how to use leftovers differently, or even when to splurge on certain foods and when not to.

My dear friend Linda, whose daughter lives with an intellectual disability, said it was a common misconception that support workers felt that because [her daughter] lived on a disability pension and a minimal food budget that she needed cheap food. On the contrary! In order for [her daughter] to perform at her best, mentally and physically, she needs quality foods. Linda says, [her daughter] may need to give up something else to be able to eat properly instead of lowering the quality of what she’s buying.

And this whole thing about humans being so reluctant to give up our unhealthy ways – well, that’s just a subject for another time!

Loneliness and depression sometimes accompany living alone, and lets face it, people living with a disability of any kind can already feel isolated. There are many people that live in areas where sufficient support isn’t available, or they’re unable to afford sufficient support, and/or they rely on support to access and interact with their community. Despite these challenges, can we not feel enough self worth to fuel our bodies to let them perform the best they can?

So how does what we eat affect our mood, or emotional well being?

Surely everyone is familiar with the effects of refined sugar on our bodies, and how diabetics for one, need to be very careful of their sugar intake. Just as certain foods can affect our physical well being, they also can have a bearing on our emotions. When we choose foods that have been made with various chemicals, unhealthy levels of everyday foods, and refined foods that are all but shells of their former goodness, our bodies don’t know what to do with these things and react accordingly. As I understand it, our body’s defense mechanism is to release chemicals to deal with these foreign things, and these chemicals will affect how we feel about things, how we perceive situations, and what emotions arise in order to deal with things. Look at a coffee drinker who doesn’t get their coffee – Grrrrrrrr!

When people feel isolated, depressed, lonely, it is common for their eating habits to be poor. With all the concern about food these days, at least we have more access to less processed or organic quick and easy, ready-made foods, but the cost is inaccessible to a lot of people. Of course, a homemade stirfry can be whipped up in minutes – as long as your veggies are prepped ahead of time. (Perhaps when support is available, and a tedious task could be made more enjoyable by the company and help of someone else).

In this case, it was decided that the family was going to have a cooking day. As a supplement to a meal program, mother, son and daughter would combine their efforts and have a cooking frenzy, preparing meals for the young man’s freezer. The best that I can do for these people is to create a reasonably easy list of great meals, and organize all the tasks to give them all the best chance for a stress-free day, so that instead of individuals carrying out menial tasks, they can have some fun cooking with other adults who they love. I’ve also added a few smoothie recipes that the young man can make for himself. Quick, easy, and good foods that are bound to bring a smile to his face, and what a great way to start the day.

Check out these links:

Snap-ed connection

Food-mood (it’s a pdf)

He buys junk. He comes home with chips and frozen dinners, and calls it grocery shopping. I’m so frustrated with menus and meals, he just eats with us now.

Our support worker just doesn’t know how to do meal planning for our son, that’s not what she does. Our son asks for the same thing for breakfast everyday, so that’s what the supporter gives him.

Our daughter has trouble with the meal planning itself. She knows she needs meals for seven days, but what does that look like, she doesn’t know what she needs.

Our daughter will budget about $100 for groceries, but she always over spends.

I made some menus for our daughter, but it was a huge struggle and we butted heads the whole way through. I have to continually revamp them for her. It’s a lot of work.

Our son just can’t be bothered to cook for himself. And then of course, he always eats by himself. I think he gets lonely.

The centre that supports our daughter sends out whoever is available. Meal planning/preparation just isn’t in their skill sets. We can’t find/afford that kind of support.

My good friend Linda once said to me, “The food issue is so big, that people won’t even be able to articulate it. They just do what they can.” And that really got me to thinking.

Families coping with an adult child who lives with an intellectual disability, who is either transitioning into interdependency, or who is already there, have a multitude of challenges that many families get to take for granted.

First, there’s the total lack of appropriate resources. Many recipes just aren’t that easy to follow. Recipes with few ingredients, usually call for unhealthy ingredients. And adequate meal support can be costly and difficult to find.

Add to this the stress of parents’ wondering how their kids are going to manage when they’re gone, the relief/joy/I’m not sure what word to put here, that their kids are finally ‘out on their own’ and possibly have a little more freedom/less frustration/fill in your own word here too, AND the never-ending task of arranging support that is going to help their offspring develop their skills and independence.

Ready-made foods that are full of chemicals, fats and processed ingredients aren’t good for any of us. They have adverse effects on our organs and bodies in general. Effects that are only amplified when paired with a multitude of medications that many people with special needs are taking, and the results are mind altering. Really! Increased anxiety, mild depression, mood swings, and hyperactivity, to name a few. Many disorders come with their own idiosyncrasies that target otherwise healthy organs, and compromised immune systems. Again, conditions that are worsened by poor eating habits of unhealthy foods.

The list goes on. Many people are sensitive to food textures, foods that are too crunchy or hard, foods that have strong flavours, or foods that are too spicy. Some disorders will not allow an individual to feel full or satisfied, so portion control is imperative, and obesity is a concern on so many levels.

I feel like I’m just getting started! Where do families go to find the resources they need? What if their community doesn’t have supportive organizations that provide such services, or worse, you’re on a waiting list that’s five or ten years long? What do families do when the cost of support is more than they can afford? What strategies do families implement to deal with their unique challenges and what effects do they have on the family unit as a whole? Do families feel alienated by the lack of understanding of their issues by extended family and friends?

Well, as I’ve said before, I think the food issue is a really big topic. I sure would like to hear what your food issues are. Leave a comment so I know I’m not just talking to myself!

Related to this subject, for your reading enlightenment:

Food Intolerance Network

Pursuit of appropriate supporters…

Roasted would be my favorite cooking method for most vegetables. Drizzled with a little olive oil and nothing else. Not even when they’re done – no butter, salt, pepper. Brussel sprouts take on a nutty flavour, and like all great vegetables, will caramelize and get a little crunchy on the outside. Parsnips, turnip, carrots, beets, sweet potatoes, roasting really brings out their sweetness. Mmmmm. But, to have any of these veggies boiled – no thank you.

I’ve focused on vegetables here, but I think the points I’m trying to make, would apply to all the foods on your list of things you don’t like. In order to get a balanced diet, it is important to eat a variety of healthful foods. The question is, how do we encourage our children, especially adult children living with an intellectual disability, to try foods they think they don’t like?

My first response is to trick them! My young son would say ‘What is this? I don’t want this, I don’t think I like this’, when I’d present him with the latest dish I’d learned to make. And I would say, ‘Oh, well you really liked it last time I made it, so I thought I’d make it again’. Sometimes it was a booming success and sometimes after a few bites he’d say, ‘You must have done something different, ‘cuase I don’t really like this’.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have to like it, we didn’t have to finish it, but we had to try it. Even liver! And that might be fine and dandy with children, but adult children may not be so easy, especially if they’re not eating meals with the rest of the family. In that case, we need to bring out the mental big guns. Psychology. Tastes change first off. Living independently means that one needs to make responsible, adult decisions. Some may see it as they no longer need to eat vegetables because no one is there to make them. But the responsible adult will say, ‘I know that vegetables are important to keep me healthy, so instead of having this vegetable this way, I’ll try it this other way, or I’ll try a different green vegetable.’

The joy of food groups is that they don’t contain just one of something. So even if someone doesn’t like something, there’s a whole group out there to try. I think the key is to be open minded. And when one food barrier is broken down, others will follow. Even the most stubborn of people want to enjoy what they’re eating, with support and encouragement, trial and error, we can encourage healthy eating habits in our adult children.

Oh yes, and perhaps this is something that sounds less like harping when it comes from a support worker, or friend. It seems sometimes that no matter what you’re saying, if you’re saying it to your kid -they think you’re harping!

First, I should start by mentioning who my intended audience is. I would like parents/family members of adult children who are living (or intending to live) semi-independently to read this blog. Hopefully, what you read here, helps you with a food related issue, or inspires you to support (or guide supporters – paid and unpaid) in more efficient ways.

Gee, nothing like setting the bar really high right off the bat!

I would also like to attract supporters of individuals (or groups) living semi-independently. My goal would be to reach friends, relatives, PSWs, and supportive organizations, and inspire people (friends and relatives), to reach out in really easy ways,  or (PSWs and SOs) to streamline their support to become more efficient. And increase the individual’s confidence and independence, and sense of community and belonging.

Whew! I have a lot to accomplish. I’m so excited to be here!

Laurie